I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
