Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
