Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
