the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
