well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
