then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
me + whiskey = a bad person
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
