i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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