If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
