Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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