I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
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