You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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