when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
