Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
