Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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