Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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