Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
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