Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
A bitchslap is in order.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
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