does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
