Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Randomize
