After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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