look no pants
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
