Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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