Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
My brain says no but my pants say off.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Randomize
