just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
