just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
