Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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