the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
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