whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
