Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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