someone threw a dead crab at me
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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