You're a womanizer and a bitch.
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Randomize
