Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
