definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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