All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
