New low: just hacked my moms facebook
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize