So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
