Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Dicks are not precious.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
