i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Randomize
