worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize
