He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
