Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
