we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
