Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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