...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Randomize
