she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
