you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Randomize