every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
