I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Randomize
