you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
