i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
