I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
