All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
