Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
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