Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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