D3 body, D1 cock
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
