I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Who died my cat blue again?
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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