Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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