I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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