K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Randomize
