a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
