i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
